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It has been known for some time that early phase romance is marked by our brain being bombarded by a chemical soup that includes chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, norepinephrine and testosterone, along with the often talked about Phenethylamine (PEA).
Together these chemicals cause us to feel short of breath, increase our heart rate, sharpen the focus of our attention and make us more aware of and more sensitive to nonverbal signals and cues.
Evolutionary psychologists might say that all of these things (and a lot of other things that happen during this phase of romance) make selection of a mate more probable.
Most experts point to several reasons why affairs die, including: * Part of the energy of an affair is the taboo aspect and secrecy that marks most affairs. They survive more on what is gotten from each other than what is invested in the relationship.
* Affair partners often look back on the sacrifices they made to be together and (one or both) realize that what they gave up is much more than what they now share.
* As relates to sacrifice, often one will discover (or feel) that his or her sacrifice was much greater than what the other person had to sacrifice, and this can lead to resentment and disillusionment.
* Sacrifice is one factor that sometimes drives an affair.
Yet in spite of all that emotional investment and mind-warping feelings, those relationships usually ended. All of those feeling are related to what is called limerence.
It might result in “real” love, but it feels like the emotional equivalent of running logic and clear thinking through a blender.
In books and movies, even on television, people fall in love almost against their will and often with the most inappropriate partners–and at times, even less appropriate.
Falling in love is sometimes portrayed as something beyond our control, overpowering, something we are helpless to resist.
Just like those strong, mindboggling feelings of your early relationship with your spouse eventually mellowed and were replaced by what you intentionally did for each other and a bond that came from a history together, feelings about your spouse’s affair (or your affair) will probably wax and wane over time.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating